she's beautiful.

Emily and I ventured north to Richmond to try and find somewhere to live. We found an amazing apartment and I can't wait to get up there and restart my life. There's only one problem that I can't bring myself to fully admit to. I'm just really good at hiding things; and I'd much rather listen to other people's problems, I want to try to fix how they're hurting. In reality, I'm the one the that's hurting and needs fixing.

I'm a complete hypocrite with the advice I give. I wish I would listen to myself the way others listen to me. I've got no clever antidotes for my issues. The best that I can do is leave it alone. You've had an apology in your mailbox since the day I gave in. I think it's strange that when you find the words to say there is absolutely no reply.

I've got those rolled back eyes while you tell me I'm like your backpack caught on a chain link fence. The howls and moans pour from the black and I feel like I'm staring into a sea full of your blank faces looking directly back at me. You're aggressively mediocre in every single way I can possibly imagine. If this isn't what you pictured then you're probably right, I'm clamouring for attention and continue voicing my useless opinions, one day maybe someone will listen.

It's hard when you realize the only thing you have ever loved or has ever loved you is passing you by. I've got to get away and move on. It's time for the final goodbye.

ECU & Sweet Escapes.

Driving home from ECU I was a head full of noise. Forced to process some everyday business disaster in the midst of what I'd intended to be a peaceful slipping away; A quiet departure from the brutal, beautiful capital of my endlessly expanding homeland. I felt myself disengage. With my thumb to the red button, my pre-drive beverage in hand, and the routine safety belt check nearly completed, my ipod emerged. Discretion is key in moments like this. You know what you need; you need songs. You know how quickly those songs can be taken from you if you aren't realistic about the potential dangers of rigid skipping tracks while driving. You also know how good it feels when a taxiing car transforms into a metal miracle as you, eyes closed, sit, scoring the soundtrack of your great escape. It's these moments that inspired everyday people to create moving pictures and sprawling canvases and symphonies. It's these moments where you, being entirely present for however brief a time, IS in fact, art. With the right Lens, Melody, Paint Brush, Math equation it could be defined and reproduced for all of humanity to understand. How perfect that my cautiously adorned headphones lead me not to hassle, but instead to "Us and Them". A track, that to me, largely defines the overriding theme of Pink Floyd's, Dark Side of the Moon album. Somehow, it manages to speak equally to the malaise of a morning interrupted as it does to the general state of the human condition. (At least some human's condition, I'm guessing). This is the stuff of real art and real music. Dissection. Exploration. Pop music with teeth, an experiment in human behavior and sound. What a fulfilling listen. Drifting off into the daytime, so far from my self-appointed capital, just a slingshot to the future.

Twitter & "Tweeting."

I'm using this update to rant about twitter because one day someone will be envious when they look back and see that I was proud to say that anyone who uses twitter is a fucking idiot.

I'm going to start "tweeting" myself because obviously I'm a god damn celebrity and it's the current train to throw myself on to. That was complete sarcasm incase anyone didn't catch the cynicism in the previous statement.

If someone honestly is craving the details of your life minute by minute you shouldn't be flattered. You should be filing a police report because I'm almost positive that someone following your every movement, minute by minute, is considered a stalker.

Essentially, I'm passionately begging all of you "tweeters" to pull your heads out of your asses and get over yourself. The universe doesn't care that you just took your contacts out or that you just ate a cheeseburger.

Well, I feel better.