No strings attached.

Tonight was fantastic. I took Allie's shift and I'm so glad I did. We closed to *NSYNC's "No Strings Attached" cd. I sang and danced around the store like a complete idiot with Jamie, and yeah that was my night.

I think I'm getting sick, which sucks because my best friend in the entire world is coming home tomorrow and I can't wait to see him!!! I get off at 10 and I guess we're going to a lingerie party at Zachs? Leave it to Derek to throw one. AHH I can't freaking wait to see Sammmmmmm. Ok I'll stop talking about that now.

I'm also really excited for next weekend. My cousin and I are going to Richmond. I cant wait to wrap my mouth around some serious Chipotles. I could go for a milkshake from Crossroads too. I am going to gain 20 lbs next weekend, and for once I could care less.

I'm ready for bed. Later Gator.

Hollister No. 655

I'm in a really good mood right now, minus the fact I went to bed at 4:30 a.m. and had to be at work by 10a.m., I am awake at 1:41 a.m. and content. I feel really gay saying this, but I love my job. I've made amazing friends, and when I go there I seriously feel like I'm going home to family. Or maybe like I'm going back to high school, the drama some of the kids there have make me remember my days in high school and make me laugh. Ohhh longing for youth as usual. But hey, I'm still young as hell, I guess by "youth" I mean high school & all the bullshit and fun that went along with it.

I spent a ridiculous amount of money at abercrombie & hollister yet again today. Someone needs to stop me. Oh, I went to Starbucks three times today, the girl at the one downstairs by the food court knows what drink I get now. I may have to switch it up and throw her off tomorrow.

Andd finally! MY BABY SAM IS COMING HOME FROM GAYMOTHERFUCKING OHIOOOOOO friday, and I can't wait to see his face. I miss him alot alot alot. And I am going to get completely shitty this weekend. All weeked.


This was pointless, sorry if you read it expecting something exciting. PARTY ONNNNNNNNN.

Because before too long you'll be a memory.

Content. Richmond this weekend with my cousin, and I can not wait, this week needs to hurry up and be over.

No work today, exciting right? Wrong. I'm buried in homework. Oh the life a college student.

I want all of my friends back, so I am making the attempt to contact everyone and hope everyone doesn't hate me for the fact that I've stopped talking to most of them for months. My apologies to everyone.

I have so much to do today, yet I seem to be lacking the motivation to even move.

Work 10-3, then 5-10 tomorrow. Someone should come visit me.

these nights I get high just from breathing.

I hate tidewater community college. Fall Semester 2008 come quick, please.

I want to go to Richmond for the weekend, I need to escape from this hell hole. Don't get me wrong, I love the beach- but the beauty seems to be fading from each sunrise, I guess I'm just used to it.

I'm mentally exhausted, I never can sleep anymore. Between work, school, working out and barely eating my body is shutting down. I sleep until 1:00 everyday. God damn.

drop everything, start it all over.

I deleted all of my old blogs, because the memories i wanted to capture forever manage to replay frequently in my head, and unfortunately I do not need another reason for the film strip in my head to be stuck on replay.

I still can't comprehend. We were better than we had every been, and I was told that he was so alone without me. "You're all I have, why do you put up with me?" I still remember laying in his bed after he said that, no matter how bad I had hurt, it seemed worth it. I miss having that person to call me before I managed to get home after leaving his house to make sure I was alright. Although it has been a month, my heart continues to break, and silent tears seem to dance down my face when that film strip begins to play.

On top of this, I have picked up all of his worst characteristics. I used to be the one to encourage him to open up, to talk. Now I seem to be the one who is ignoring everyone close, pushing them away until they forget, which seems to be what I want. Its almost like I want to have everyone lose their hope in me, to just give up on me. All so I can come back and redeem myself. I guess I'm craving attention.

Apathy seems to be taking over.

I have been feeling so despondent, I continue to sabotoge myself anyway I can. I'm beginning to think that I don't want to be happy.


The damage from previous relationship has left me feeling like nothing is of importance anymore. I will continue to protect myself from myself until I can learn to trust not only others, but myself and my emotions. Unfortunately this is nearly impossible because my emotions have gone on vacation, or maybe just ran away. Where ever they went, I wish they would have taken me with them.