You only burn my bridges.

I'm currently accepting applications for my future boyfriend.

Qualifications: If the applicant does not fall under any of the following categories, the applicant need not apply.

1. You are Andrew McMahon.

2. You are a vampire/have been attacked by Lord Voldemort.

3. You are in a band or can play some musical instrument (preferably the piano.)

4. You have large quantities of tattoos and/or piercings of the lip, septum, and/or eyebrow.

My expectations are completely realistic. SINGLE FOR LIFE.